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Probably the last name you think of when you think of “Father’s Rights” is Britney Spears. I mean, she’s a mother, not a father. She’s involved in a custody battle with the father of her children. And she’s Britney Spears, for God’s sakes! But her custody fight is in the news, like it or not. No, it won’t set any great legal precedent. And no, it’s not the kind of case that lawyers and judges are watching, to see new and novel interpretations of law or legal theory. But if you are a father who is involved in a custody battle, then it’s worth watching – and LEARNING.

First, a little history: Britney was initially given custody of their two children, mainly because no one could really find a reason why Kevin Federline should get custody. At that time, he had a public and well-documented history of partying, of apparently intermittently supporting his other child, and of not appearing terribly interested in getting custody of his kids. The Court awarded custody to Britney, and everyone settled down to long nights of Fed-ex jokes and curiosity about what would be revealed about the couple’s finances.

And then something magical happened. Okay, maybe not magical. Tragical. Something tragic happened. Britney went off the deep end. In public. In violation of court orders. She apparently got drunk in public. She seems to have had a myriad of driving problems. She got angry and tried to beat up cars for no apparent reason. The Judge had laid out specific plans for each parent. And Britney couldn’t follow her plan.

Meanwhile, K-Fed was reforming himself. He stopped partying (well, publicly). He stopped giving ridiculous “concerts” and appearing on TV shows. He settled down. He visited his kids. He acted like he really wanted to be a father. He acted like a responsible parent.

And he was awarded custody.

What’s the lesson to you, as a father seeking custody of his children? Well, there are 2 lessons. First, clean up your act! If Britney had cleaned up her act, she would not have lost custody of her children. And, by cleaning up his act, K-Fed suddenly looked to the Court like a better option than Ms. Spears. And he also looked better than he did at the beginning of the case. Courts like to see parents grow and mature during a case.

The second lesson is: point out your ex’s flaws and problems! Now, not to the kids. She’s their mom, and everyone involved in the custody decision-making process hates when either parent runs down the other parent to the children. However, it is fair game to bring your ex’s bad acts to the attention of the Judge, the custody evaluator, the Guardian Ad Litem, the Friend Of The Court, or anyone else who has a say in the custody decision. Especially where those acts violate a court Order (showing that she vies the Order more like it’s a “suggestion”) or is a criminal act. Now some crimes – like driving drunk with the kids in the car – are going to more relevant than others (not returning the overdue movie to Blockbuster) to the question of which parent should have custody. So use your discretion and discernment.

High profile custody cases are worth following, mostly because you can see what NOT to do. With Britney Spears’ divorce, you can also see WHAT to do, to improve your chances of getting custody of your kids. Britney Spears – the new father’s rights poster child. Who wouda thunk it?

ERIK CARTER has written “Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father” (http://familysale.startyourlifenow.com), and manages START YOUR LIFE NOW! (http://www.startyourlifenow.com), a website presenting resources to achieve EXCELLENCE in the areas of Business – Family – Fitness – Spirituality – Personal. Transforming your life is possible – and sometimes, one step at a time is how it’s done.

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